A different faith

There was no way I could school my child. It's like saying, enslaving her knowingly... although freeing her from the beginning, was painful.

The hardest system that I had to overcome in my life has been the schooled judicial system inside me called "justice", which the social construct still holds dear although it is life-threatening. 

It's been an uphill road to self-liberation but the opposite would be to remain strapped, unable to fly freely.

Under the surface

The pain is unimaginable, immeasurable.

Finding other things to do doesn’t make it go away. It doesn’t lighten it. There is no way I can be who I was before or what people might expect of me. Physical pain, in any form gives me the impression of being alive, the strength to go on, the reminder that I am here. It’s visible, more manageable, an indication of movement in the stagnancy that has been forced on me.

I am also discovering the misconception we have believed of pain, the body, the heart-mind, ego-mind, truth and so much more, much deeper than linear, surface level... through experience.

To do lists

We still like to separate subjects, issues, topics, thinking that this way we have "everything under control", know more, are more mature and/or more competent in our everyday lives.

But our need for separation comes from a deeper fear that we seldom - if ever - truly recognize: we fear the vastness of our being, the grand visible and invisible reality. We need boundaries, just like our bodies reveal our psychical boundaries.

Even in unschooling/homeschooling circles, this separation is evident as it also reveals itself in conversations, habits, requirements, responses, actions. We are still learning, still exiting the old paradigm.

The following post probably wouldn't remind one of  schooling or education but as I have discovered through unschooling myself and educating my daughter, it is one of the fundamental "subjects" that took up most of our time and learning endeavors.

To do lists

One day, I will choose not to separate my blogs, pages, groups, subjects because they will be understood as one. 

When those who are meant to protect, abuse

 

We live for a limited time in life; most people tend to forget that. We are also brought up with the belief that the world is the way it is and that we need to accept and live with it. I haven't yet figured out why people accept that belief and then go on to marvel innovators, worship the rebels and the leaders of change. I have never managed to fit in with that model. I didn't want my child to believe it either.