Our comfort zones

Every day I see her photos. They are on my computer's screen saver as a slideshow and all around the house.

Every day I see her books, her toys, her writings, her drawings, her crafts. They're everywhere. It's a house that has always been kid-centered.

Every day I see her clothes. They're still hanging in her wardrobe and folded in her drawers. I know that most don't fit her anymore.

It's all this and so much more that remain unknown to most people... We are conditioned not to talk about whatever makes us feel uncomfortable.

Getting comfortable has made us numb in so many ways...

I've thought of clearing her room, of giving away some of her clothes... She's grown and for the first time I'm not there to buy her new clothes, to watch her every change, her every transformation. People usually fear seeming weak... but how much have we misinterpreted so many concepts?

Last night, after a challenging and difficult day, an "irrelevant" subject came up: Somali pirates and how they attack ships in the Indian Ocean. Where have I been? Do we still have pirates? What an absurd thought! Of course we do! Hasn't our life been pirated by authoritarian injustice, patriarchy, in Western-style lawful deceit? 

Back to Somali pirates... I started to research...

Basically, this has been going on for years. Now, the ships have hired missionaries and private security companies to protect themselves against the pirates. Much like we do in our "civilized" world, where we can hire anyone with a price tag, to protect us from the "bad guys"; anyone who is - or we assume is - against us.

It's a long trip down the rabbit hole if we dare to see a different perspective..but it's worth it..

Then, I side-tracked from the projected viewpoint and dug further..

Somalia; a poverty-stricken land of uneducated and needy human beings, struggling to survive. They have nothing to lose expect "their miserable lives" as I was told, "so they'll go to extremes in order to survive, having being left with no other option". It's so comfortable to say, "you always have options" in our "civilized societies", when we dare not look at reality!

The "civilized" world thus opens fire on these desperate people, spends millions of dollars against them; the killing-machine market has to flourish and greed must be fed and satisfied, with our "best intentions"! When we could have used that same money and energy to feed, educate and heal them. Our fancy weapons (that's where scientism goes to and the reason it is funded), hi-tech killing machine, exploiting commerce industry, which by the way is killing life on the planet, have the upper hand! 

So, we can "sleep peacefully", as we've taken care of the pirates; other human beings, just because we happen to NOT be in their shoes. As we have also "taken care of" crime, terrorists, illness, drug abuse, war... still fighting all the same wars that we always have been.

I can't help thinking that we have built a very sick world! (Even writing about all this is extremely hard and a challenge for my sanity...so I take breaks to readjust and realign). We have comfortably separated the subjects (as in school), made up the religious and "spiritual" theories that guard us from seeing the negative (we are still afraid of) and judging it as it suits our egoic comfort zones. So, we can "peacefully" pursue our elusive goals: our next paycheck, next promotion, next purchase, next holiday, while we deliver ourselves from seeing the whole picture. 

How can we make things right with violence or from not being willing to see what reality REALLY looks like? How are we "more advanced", "more civilized" when we remain afraid, in defense and at war with anyone and anything that dares to threaten our comfort zone? 

I don't pretend to have the whole story on Somalia or its pirates. But, I know that it would have been a subject we would have had on the table, discussing with Nepheli, had she been here. We would have gone much deeper into the subject, searched for more information from all sides and areas of the issue. I would have wanted to hear her opinion, from a child's view, how she sees the subject and the world. And I would have called that "education" (as I had been, for ten years).  But they don't want informed individuals, they don't want educated kids! 

Somalia seems to be on the other side of the planet and irrelevant to us. "Why should I care" Don't I have enough problems of my own?" A subliminal, schooled way of thinking that MUST change, as we must begin to link subjects, issues, areas, to transform our mentality!

They tell me that my writing (or lifestyle) is not likeable, that it doesn't get me fan views, it doesn't go viral... They are right!

When we insist on having and keeping such a narrow view on life, which ends with our needs, our opinions, our beliefs and our perception of how things should be, what are we really accomplishing except more violence, more fear, more greed, blame, injustice and never ending wars?

We don't have the answers despite our technology. We haven't solved anything despite our sophisticated intellect. We haven't become more humane or spiritual despite our religions or academia. We need to ask different questions, question our previous anwers.

No, it's not comfortable to do that. But are we really comfortable, unafraid, safe, content?

It's been a tough, eye-opening trip - one more; a trip down the rabbit hole that has made my heart hurt but I wouldn't want to have escaped it!

Her clothes are still here, as she left everything before being abducted on 28th May, 2017. The house needs tiding, cleaning... But the plants outside that are alive need my attention, the writing must be published (I consider it important to share) and I want to talk to the people I care about, not avoiding to think about Nepheli, which hurts as an open wound. All, against my image, my "security", my social status.

Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to say "NO!" and dare to experience the void of the unknown before you are inspired with a different solution, not visible in your previous perspective. 

#stopstatechildabduction