Sep 19, 2015
How do I lose myself so, that before I look at the calender I have no idea whatsoever what day/date it is? Even if, yesterday I had seen the date; I said it, wrote it, thought about it, used it. And yet, today it's vanished from my mind. Doesn't the multi-sensory method work? Being a teacher, a learner, a researcher, my mind makes up all sorts of questions that throw me into research, no matter what or how much I think I know.
Just realized that I don't write on this blog that I made anew a few weeks (I think) ago. But, I created all these blogs to have an expression pathway, so that THEY serve me, not I them! And this is what scares me in the school system too. That every day will become the same, that children are required to repeat the same program over and over again, that in the end they end up serving the subjects, the marks, the exams, the teachers, everyone and everything else, except their own self!
Don't I have things that I repeat each day? Yes and no and very few. Whilst there are things that I do each day, they are an entirely different experience each time and this is what makes them unique. It's like a ritual, a preparation and an involvement that is unique each time. And these are my choices; they express who I really am, who I want to be! These might change over time or not. I have been writing since I was twelve but it's never the same and it never becomes boring or a "chore". Apart from these few "repetitions", everything else becomes a new choice during the day, a new experience, a new discovery.
It's not that the multi-sensory method does or doesn't work. It's that my mind/Self finds or doesn't find a reason to remember, to connect the linear dots of physical time. My right brain or "dyslexic mind", which the system considers dysfunctional, has no reason whatsoever to remember the day; whether it's Friday or Tuesday. I'll remember it, if there is something strong enough to pull me back into linear, physical reality. Like today, when I have to go to Athens, to the police station. Otherwise....
The sunrise that we watched together for the first time in our new home a little while ago, was much more interesting and cannot be repeated. It's a new, unique experience that we shared together, with so much to take in! The colors that change from moment to moment, the silvery calm sea waiting to come alive, the amazing patterns of the few little clouds hanging in mid-air, the morning, soft, nearly non-existing breeze on our skin, the distant roosters summoning the day, inviting the world to wake up, the absence of man-made noise-pollution, which adds to the natural beauty that surrounds us, the continuously changing mountains....there is so much information coming in...
And I would have been told that the above sentence is far too long, that it looks like a paragraph and that I should break it up into smaller sentences. But why would I want to break up something which is one grand, unique total of a magnificent unique experience? The commas, which come naturally to my mind, tell the linear mind where to pause, to imagine, to feel, to take in, before moving on to add to the synthetic experience of the reading. And that is all that is needed. That is what is really useful!
The spelling corrector reminds me that I have made a few spelling errors along the way...I can even point these out myself when I hand-write but later. Not now! Not in the flow of my vivid, multi-sensory, unique, inner experience. For my right-brain, these are two different tasks that don't go together. I know that when they do (for left-brain people), the one misses out, it is diminished, in favor of the other. And we seize to be unique, we stop being individual expressions of our Self.
Sometimes I even battle with a word that I KNOW but just can't find its spelling in this expanded consciousness. I have to let go, write it in any way it comes, even if I look stupid, and continue with expressing the vastness, because the linear and fragmented is easier and can be done later.
Why would we want to rush through? What are we chasing? Why wouldn't I start a sentence with the word "and" or "because" if that's the flow of my thought and you are reading ME?
Today is the.... I have to look again....the 19th of September (so what?) and I have to put all this and much more aside, to start getting ready to go to the police station because the system assumes that I am "neglecting and/or abusing" my child for not sending her to school to be judged, examined, compared, tested, abused, molded and suppressed to fit the man-made world of one-sided, linear, surface, expertized, fragmented sameness.
And I don't know when I'll have another inspiration to write on this blog...
I thought it wiser and much more interesting to not include an image in this post, so that you could use your right minds to imagine what you wish to entertain within you. Surely this decreases my post, as the Internet and our current societies thrive on images and need support to be circulated. But do I need the numbers or the essence of existence of my existence? I'll go for similarity on my blog and hope that you will forget the above image while reading, to create your own.